Saturday, April 2, 2011
Who is that tapping me on the shoulder?
Many times in my life I have felt like I should be doing more with my life. But, and this is a big "but", the more has always been for myself. Meaning I should be working harder, at a better job, or go back to school and finish my degree, or cleaning my house more or socializing more or going to churh more often. So the feeling that I should be doing more is not foreign to me. However, lately I have been feeling a little lost, a little pointless. What is the purpose of my life? What is God's purpose for my life? I feel like there is something I should be doing. Something to serve Him and glorify Him. And I don't know what it is, so for the first time in my life I have been praying for God to show me, to tell me, what He wants me to be doing with my life. I have been prayerfully asking Him to please show me what my purpose for Him is, not for myself or my family. I don't really know how to explain it. If you go and visit Patrice, she says what I am feeling in a much clearer and more eloquent way. I feel a stirring in my heart, which may or may not be God starting to tell me something I can do to serve Him. It's not something I am really ready to acknowledge out loud. I fell upon this one blog, and have been reading it faithfully, and searching out other blogs with similar stories and following these women's journeys. I'm feeling pulled in this direction, but it is scary. I'm not even sure that this is God tapping me on the shoulder or what, since if I'm being honest I have never really felt "called" to do something for God or even felt like I should be serving God in a bigger way. I apologize for all this rambling this early Saturday morning, but these past few weeks of Corey working practically nonstop (for which I am thankful, not complaining) has brought me a lot of time with my own thoughts. Those of you with true experience being called by God to do something, how do you know it is Him tapping you on the shoulder and not just your own mind wanting something that another person has?